- "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."
- -Nelson Mandela, 'A Long Walk to Freedom'
My name is Emma Finney. Today I'm starting a blog all about how I've decided to change. I've decided that over the past year, at least, I have ignored my responsibilites as a horse owner, and that my horses deserve better. I'm ashamed at how little attention I've given them lately, and I've decided that enough is enough. I've owned Andie for a little over three years now, and BJ a little over two. They've been located at my home in Washington for two years. I bought Andie as a five year old mare with plenty of spunk. I was a complete beginner rider at the time. She was challenging for me, fun, exciting, and I learned A LOT more than I normally would have on a calmer horse. I loved Andie, and still do. But back then, she was my whole world.
Disclaimer: I have loved horses since birth. I've wanted horses my entire life, and I still do. It was just tonight, however, while I was brushing the knots out of Andie's tail, that I realized that I had been neglecting my horses. They are safe, they aren't in danger, they are fed and watered, and they are nowhere near death, but they certainly aren't in any condition that I'm proud of. I'm humiliated how someone like me, who lives and breathes horses, could possibly lack the interest to spend time with their horses.
My interest in Andie started declining when the luster of being a new horse owner started wearing off, as well as when my parents' wallets started wearing thin. When my trainer moved and my parents decided we couldn't afford another riding instructor, things started to get especially dull. Even though it's been three years since I first started riding, I still consider myself a beginner rider. I simply lack the knowledge and experience to be advancing and improving during my rides alone with Andie. I got bored, Andie got bored, and I got frustrated that I couldn't fix what was wrong with both of us-- me as a rider, and Andie as a mount. So I gave up. Andie developed an allergy to flies, which causes her to become very itchy, which results in her itching out her mane and tail every summer. This certainly wasn't the part of horse ownership that every young girl dreams of.
Tonight I've realized that ever since I decided I wanted to become a horse owner, I have had larger than life dreams. I have wanted SO much. My parents, belss their hearts, tried SO hard to make those big dreams come true, but the "real world" has many more limits than I could begin to conceive as a thirteen-year-old-horse-crazed-girl. I wanted my outdoor arena to have sand in it. I wanted a barn with five stalls and a smaller indoor arena. I wanted more than one riding horse. I wanted beautiful jump standards. I wanted, I wanted, and I wanted more. When I subconsciously realized that this was never going to happen, I sort of just kicked the bucket and went home. Even though Andie isn't my dream horse, and I don't have my dream barn, or my dream arena, or my dream trails, I've finally figured out that I'm extremely lucky to have Andie and BJ, despite all the problems we have encountered together. And tonight, I've decided to make the most of it.
This blog will be entirely about my journey to improve Andie and BJ's conditions. This will include their grooming, weight, muscle mass, overall physical condition, and their training. I intend to go back to square one with both horses and give them "refresher" training courses, so I can learn more about the basic principles of riding, training, and making improvements on both. I'm not going to be able to do this on my own, though. The very reason I have made this blog public is so that I can receive the help and encouragement I so desperately need. I need people to keep me acountable, to correct me when I'm wrong, and to help me when I'm clueless.
Disclaimer: I have loved horses since birth. I've wanted horses my entire life, and I still do. It was just tonight, however, while I was brushing the knots out of Andie's tail, that I realized that I had been neglecting my horses. They are safe, they aren't in danger, they are fed and watered, and they are nowhere near death, but they certainly aren't in any condition that I'm proud of. I'm humiliated how someone like me, who lives and breathes horses, could possibly lack the interest to spend time with their horses.
My interest in Andie started declining when the luster of being a new horse owner started wearing off, as well as when my parents' wallets started wearing thin. When my trainer moved and my parents decided we couldn't afford another riding instructor, things started to get especially dull. Even though it's been three years since I first started riding, I still consider myself a beginner rider. I simply lack the knowledge and experience to be advancing and improving during my rides alone with Andie. I got bored, Andie got bored, and I got frustrated that I couldn't fix what was wrong with both of us-- me as a rider, and Andie as a mount. So I gave up. Andie developed an allergy to flies, which causes her to become very itchy, which results in her itching out her mane and tail every summer. This certainly wasn't the part of horse ownership that every young girl dreams of.
Tonight I've realized that ever since I decided I wanted to become a horse owner, I have had larger than life dreams. I have wanted SO much. My parents, belss their hearts, tried SO hard to make those big dreams come true, but the "real world" has many more limits than I could begin to conceive as a thirteen-year-old-horse-crazed-girl. I wanted my outdoor arena to have sand in it. I wanted a barn with five stalls and a smaller indoor arena. I wanted more than one riding horse. I wanted beautiful jump standards. I wanted, I wanted, and I wanted more. When I subconsciously realized that this was never going to happen, I sort of just kicked the bucket and went home. Even though Andie isn't my dream horse, and I don't have my dream barn, or my dream arena, or my dream trails, I've finally figured out that I'm extremely lucky to have Andie and BJ, despite all the problems we have encountered together. And tonight, I've decided to make the most of it.
This blog will be entirely about my journey to improve Andie and BJ's conditions. This will include their grooming, weight, muscle mass, overall physical condition, and their training. I intend to go back to square one with both horses and give them "refresher" training courses, so I can learn more about the basic principles of riding, training, and making improvements on both. I'm not going to be able to do this on my own, though. The very reason I have made this blog public is so that I can receive the help and encouragement I so desperately need. I need people to keep me acountable, to correct me when I'm wrong, and to help me when I'm clueless.
- "It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."
- -James Gordon, M.D.
4 comments:
Where in Washington do you live? I live in Washington too? I 17 yr ol girl, with my first horse too, that I have owned for a year :) I had a trainer for 2 months, but she took her Welsh Stallion Dan Patch to shows all over the coast in WA, OR, CA, and all over actually, ect, ect. So that's why I don't have a current trainer. I do miss having her guidance, but I think I ride pretty good. I really want to trail ride, but I don't have a trailer to trailer him in.. :(
Lol.. anyway, looking forward to more of your stories with your horses.
Kim,
I live in western Washington, near Seattle. Feel free to e-mail at lochnessemmy@gmail.com if you wanna talk a little! :)
Thanks for reading,
Emma
I live in Western WA, north west of Seattle. South of Snohomish. I will e-mail and ttyl, but right now, I gotta get ready. That would be so cool if we could become friends :)
Good luck! It's a Mature Moment when you realize that everything might not be "perfect," but it just might be "good enough" to be awesome. :)
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